


Sleepless

by TariSilmarwen



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Ezra Bridger Gets a Hug, Ezra Bridger Needs a Hug, Gen, Guilt, Nightmares, Post-Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21600148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TariSilmarwen/pseuds/TariSilmarwen
Summary: Zeb was not usually a light sleeper. But he'd have to be deaf to miss the noisy night terrors that had plagued his bunkmate for weeks.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 11
Kudos: 171





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> Season Three jossed a lot of the Post-Twilight fallout fics I'd planned (though some of them have since been reworked into an AU series or two) but this one was canon-compliant enough that I went ahead and wrote it.
> 
> I'm still really pleased and happy with this one.

He raised his head from the pillow, blinking groggily. Above the steady hum of the _Ghost_ 's ventilation system, his ears could pick up restless shifting, shuffling, and murmuring from the upper bunk. The mattress creaked softly as its occupant tossed and turned.

"Karabast," Zeb muttered. "Not again."

Awkwardly, shaking off the last cobwebs of sleep, Zeb rolled over, swinging his feet towards the floor. He hefted himself upright and, quietly, stood up, turned around, and peeked over the edge of the top bunk.

Ezra's sleep was fitful, his eyes pinched and his hands twitching, as if warding something off.

"Nnnn..." Zeb could hear him crying softly. "Don't... no... _please_..."

The helpless sound wrenched at Zeb's heart. He reached a hand out, then hesitated, biting his lip. Was it safe to wake him, or should he wait for Ezra to wake up on his own, breathless and gasping? The last time Zeb had tried to shake him out of it, Ezra had kneed him in the face. His nose and teeth still throbbed at the memory.

Ezra's tossing grew more frantic. His feet kicked at nothing and there was an expression on his face like he was in pain.

"No... no..."

Zeb sighed, his shoulders slumping as his worry won out over his hesitation. Whatever nightmare Ezra was having, it was far better to bring him out of it.

"Kid," he called.

The boy's arm batted weakly at something unseen. "Stop..." he whimpered.

"Kid! Wake up!" Zeb said a little louder, grabbing hold of Ezra's shoulder and giving him a shake.

No sooner had Zeb touched him, then Ezra started awake with a loud gasp, his eyes popping open and his body jolting erratically. So violent was his sudden jerk that Ezra shifted too close to the edge and slipped right off the bunk itself.

"Woah, careful!" Zeb cried, grabbing for him and managing to snag him by the arms before he hit the floor. Ezra flailed a moment before settling down, eyes wide, panting heavily. Very gingerly Zeb set him down on his feet, leaning over him in concern. "You okay?" he asked.

He didn't seem to have registered that he was awake yet, staring past the Lasat in confusion.

"I... What...?"

Zeb tightened his hold, squeezing Ezra's arms a little firmer. "Ezra. Hey." He shook the boy a little, to make him raise his head. "Look at me!"

Ezra flinched, freezing up and shrinking into himself. Like he thought Zeb might yell at him next, or hit him. His eyes raised slowly up to meet the Lasat's gaze.

"Zeb?" he said, in a shaky voice.

Zeb tried for a reassuring smile, but could feel it faltering even as he spoke. "You're all right. It was just a nightmare. Okay?" He softened his grip around Ezra's arms. "You're _safe_."

From his expression, Zeb could tell that Ezra didn't _feel_ very safe. He backed away from Zeb's gentle hold, trembling, his arms squeezing around himself.

"Maul..." came his strained whisper.

"Isn't here, kid," Zeb assured him. "I promise."

Ezra exhaled haltingly, wobbling in place, like the slightest breath would tilt him over. Weakly, he backed up to the edge of Zeb's bunk and sat down heavily, eyes far away, staring past the floor.

Zeb chewed on his tongue, watching the boy helplessly.

 _Karabast kid_ , he thought. _What_ ** _happened_** _to you on that blasted rock?_

The details of what, exactly, had gone down on Malachor were still sketchy. Neither Ezra nor Kanan particularly liked to talk about it—even for Hera getting one of them to mention something was like pulling teeth. All Zeb knew—from the things he'd heard Ezra screaming in the middle of the night, the pleas and sobs and desperate repetition of names—was that they had faced Vader and his Inquisitors, some character called Maul had blinded Kanan...

And something bad had happened to Ahsoka.

Zeb wished his meager knowledge was enough to offer the boy some comfort right then.

-SWR-

Ezra was still trembling. His bangs hung low in his face, head bowed, eyes on the floor. Hugging himself and shivering.

Zeb had eventually sat on the bunk next to him, elbows on his knees, thumbs fiddling awkwardly. The silence stretched out, interminable, only broken by the sound of Ezra's unsteady breathing.

His body felt like a lump of so much useless clay, and words seemed stuck in his throat. Zeb peeked up at the boy every so often.

Ezra's hair and clothes were disheveled. Bags under his eyes. Of course, Zeb didn't need to look at him to know he hadn't been sleeping well—he'd been a firsthand witness to just that fact.

And Zeb knew he wasn't making it up in the morning either. By day Ezra shuffled about, dull-eyed and barely responsive. Zeb hadn't even seen him out of their room for a week after the whole incident.

He honestly didn't know which was worse; quiet, evasive, mumbling Ezra, or the Ezra that was presented to him now, shaking like a leaf, expression haunted.

Ezra shuddered, and gave a sound like he was holding back a sob. Zeb felt a rush of frustration at his own powerlessness—surely there was something, _something_ he could do or say to the boy?

The silence was thick with unspoken tension. He looked up from his hands. Ezra's face was pale and gaunt and he stared off at nothing and Zeb couldn't stand it.

He cleared his throat, awkwardly.

"You, uh... wanna talk about it?" he asked.

Ezra shook his head. _No._

Zeb paused a moment, biting his tongue and thinking.

"You want me to go get Kanan?" he offered.

Ezra shook his head again, harder this time, and squeezed his arms tighter around his body.

He looked so fragile. Zeb studied him, peering hard as though if he stared at Ezra long enough he could _will_ the boy to feel better.

Ezra continued to shake softly and, after a long moment, Zeb gave a heavy sigh.

"Okay..." he said. "Okay. We can just sit here for a while... until you feel a little more calm."

Ezra didn't reply, either to protest or to acknowledge him, so Zeb just scooted a little in his seat to sit a bit closer to the boy, just be a warm presence by his side.

The boy shivered, continuing to stare at his feet, while Zeb's gaze wandered around the room, the thrum of the _Ghost_ 's air systems a gentle hum in his ears.

He almost thought they'd stay that way all night. But then...

"It was me..." came Ezra's hoarse whisper.

Zeb glanced down at him. The edges of his eyes were glistening.

"This time I was the one who... who killed Ahsoka," Ezra strained out. The words started to come spilling out of him between breathy half-sobs. "I saw myself... fighting her and... my saber... I tried to stop but..."

He paused to take a breath, his throat visibly tightening, choking the words as they left him. Zeb sat forward on the bunk anxiously, waiting for Ezra to continue but not wanting to push him. After a moment or two Ezra recovered.

"...And I could hear Maul laughing and—"

Suddenly animated, Ezra curled into himself, his eyes squeezing closed.

"—and the Inquisitor's body was on the ground in pieces but she was still alive, and she grabbed my ankle and just _screeched_ at me," he said in a rush, unable to stop now that the dam had broken. "And Vader—he had me by the throat and Kanan was trying to get to me but Vader—he—he—"

His throat made a strangled cry. His watering eyes threatened to spill over. Zeb grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in for a hug, wrapping his thick arms around Ezra's small, quivering frame.

"Easy now," he said, his gruff voice surprisingly gentle. "None of that happened."

Thin arms clutched him, fingers wringing handfuls of his fur as Ezra buried his face in the Lasat's chest, openly sobbing.

"It's my fault!" he cried, the words rasping through his pinched throat. "If Maul had... If I hadn't... _trusted_ him then... then Kanan wouldn't... he'd—"

He couldn't say anymore, just weeping into Zeb's shirt, tears streaming freely down his face.

Zeb squeezed him a little tighter, tucking the boy's head under his chin reassuringly. "It weren't your fault, kid," he whispered. Even if he didn't know exactly what had happened, there was no way he was letting Ezra take all the guilt and shame on himself. "No one blames you. So don't go beating yourself up, eh?"

Ezra just pressed himself flat, his sobs muffled against Zeb's torso.

The Lasat bit back a sigh of exasperation. The kid probably wouldn't believe him. Well all right. If he needed to blubber, Zeb would let him blubber.

"It's okay. Let it out, Ezra," Zeb told him. "I won't judge."

So he did. He cried himself out until he was reduced to soft sniffles. Zeb shifted on the bunk so he could lean back against the wall, closing his eyes with a tired exhale. Ezra felt small and breakable in his arms, shaking from an unseen chill.

Maul was just _lucky_ Zeb hadn't been around to strangle him.

-SWR-

Hera found them like that hours later, when she tentatively opened the door in the morning to call the boys to breakfast; Ezra curled up in Zeb's lap, sleeping, Zeb dozing against the wall and snoring softly.

She paused in the doorway, leaning her hands against the frame as she watched them, eyes soft and full of worry.

Zeb snorted in his sleep as the light from the doorway slanted across his face, and Ezra stirred briefly, mumbling something before shifting his head, his face less haggard than she'd seen in weeks.

Wordlessly, Hera turned back around and closed the door behind her, leaving them in peace.

* * *


End file.
